For a second you thought I was being vulgar...didn't you?
Nope, just trying to get you attention.
What is "shoulding"? The idea is pretty simple.
Are you a "should"er?:
When you look at your to-do list, do you find lots of things that you don't want to do but feel that you "should" versus "need" to do?
Do you often hear yourself saying "I have to" or "I must"?
Are you often overheard saying "You don't understand how busy I am?"
How about "I am supposed to"?
Do you have so much to do and yet you feel that you never have any time for yourself?
Let me be clear.
The reality of life is that there are truly very few things that are absolutes. You have to feed your children. You need to pay your mortgage and your electric bills. There are things that you really have to do. This is not the kind of thing I am talking about.
What I am saying is that if you look closely at your "to do" list, I bet there are things on it that could be left undone for a day, a week or forever.
Some examples:
Your friend had a baby and you agree to drop their older child at school for 2 months and she lives on the other side of town.
You make meals for this same person for weeks at a time during this same timeframe.
A co-worker is constantly running over to you to bail them out.
You signed up to run 4 committees at your child's school.
Another friend is involved in some committee and they are constantly asking you for last minute help for their committee.
I am not saying that these aren't very nice things to do. I'm not saying that is isn't great to do things for friends. What I am saying is that if doing these things doesn't give you energy then you should probably reconsider not doing them.
If so, you are probably a "should"er. But there is hope.
Want to reform your "should"ing ways?
Try these simple steps:
Need a coach to help you get started? Let me know.
Ciao, Melissa
Nope, just trying to get you attention.
When you look at your to-do list, do you find lots of things that you don't want to do but feel that you "should" versus "need" to do?
Do you often hear yourself saying "I have to" or "I must"?
Are you often overheard saying "You don't understand how busy I am?"
How about "I am supposed to"?
Do you have so much to do and yet you feel that you never have any time for yourself?
Let me be clear.
The reality of life is that there are truly very few things that are absolutes. You have to feed your children. You need to pay your mortgage and your electric bills. There are things that you really have to do. This is not the kind of thing I am talking about.
What I am saying is that if you look closely at your "to do" list, I bet there are things on it that could be left undone for a day, a week or forever.
Some examples:
Your friend had a baby and you agree to drop their older child at school for 2 months and she lives on the other side of town.
You make meals for this same person for weeks at a time during this same timeframe.
A co-worker is constantly running over to you to bail them out.
You signed up to run 4 committees at your child's school.
Another friend is involved in some committee and they are constantly asking you for last minute help for their committee.
I am not saying that these aren't very nice things to do. I'm not saying that is isn't great to do things for friends. What I am saying is that if doing these things doesn't give you energy then you should probably reconsider not doing them.
Want to reform your "should"ing ways?
- Write down all of your shoulds, musts, and have tos.
- Mark an X next to those that are the true musts of your life.
- Add an X to the things that give you energy or are for someone who has always done a lot for you.
- Eliminate what remains on your list that are causing you the most strife.
- Add back at least one thing that is just for you and something you have wanted to do.
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