Introverts- Do they Get the Short End of the Stick?

I was recently having lunch with a really good friend of mine...in fact, she is my best friend. We used to work together for years. We don't anymore but we share the same passion for coaching people (she coaches sales people) so it is often a topic of conversation between us.

She was talking about her new team. You know...the good, the bad, the ugly...etc.

She is excited because she has a group of people who are doing really well. And even better, she has a few who don't do so well...but with some minor adjustments will be fanastic.

Then she was talking about "the star". You know who I mean. The one who does really well and is usually left alone...for years and years. And it isn't until a new manager comes along that anyone realizes that this person might pull great numbers in some areas but do horribly in others.

My friend was talking about her first conversation with this person. It was basically an introductory meeting... a "getting to know you" kind of thing where my friend asked her coachee how she could help. And my friend, a very clear Extravert, couldn't understand why every question that she asked her coachee was answered with either a "everything is fine" or "no, I don't need any help". Oh, and did I mention that she did so without expression.

I laughed visualizing the conversation. I can imagine that the less that the coachee said the more my friend spoke. Thus giving her Introvert zero processing time. The more my friend spoke, the less her coachee said. In conveying the story, my friend was blown away by this person's apparent lack of insight into their faults or openness to receive help.

What I was blown away by was how much someone can read into what someone else says... or in this case, doesn't say.

It is tough with sales people because the stereotype of sales people is that they are all Extraverts. But having managed sales people for years, I know that it can go either way in sales. And I certainly have had my fair share of fantastic sales people who were Introverts. They may have been less apt to toot their own horn but they were great... in their own way.

Long story short, my friend and I then had a long conversation about how she might approach this person differently to appeal more to her coachee's type. (I suggested she email her team members an agenda and give them an idea of what might be discussed in each session. I also suggested that if she had any data to share that she send it ahead of time as well.)

Whenever I have this kind of conversation, the Extraverted coach is always totally open to taking a different approach...but what if no one ever tells them?